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likely to be my last entry now. Because I have been re-enlightened on the reasons I chose to keep this blog a secret in the first place (which now it is not).

To me, friends are the most important thing in the world. Aquitences are useful for appearences (seeming popular), friends are good for having a good time. But real friends are those you can trust with your life, or rather, your life's choices. They will shape your life and how you lead it. You turn to them for important advice, trusting their valuable opinion on your life's most crucial moments. You think they have your best interests at heart. But is this always the case?

What if the friend in question has an ultier motive in mind? He/She will lead you in the direction most advantageous for themselves, which might not always be the best for you. Or in fact say stuff to make themselves looks cool or some other unknown reason, not aware of the consequences of their actions. They could be spoiling relationships and destroying self esteems. This kind of ignorent people are those I hate the most. Have they no brains? or just the immaturity of a 5 year old. Of course, worse if they are doing it on purpose. I really pity those who live in such ignorence.

It plainly shows how STUPID they are, not realising that every single sentance has an impact, jus shooting off your mouth so that you look like you're ALL THAT. but really, you are breaking us apart wiht everythng you say. Is it because you are jealous of your friend's happiness? Or unhappy wiht your own partner. I can name all your names here. And state all your flaws. Althouhg Im not a perfect human being. your flaws are a thousand more than mine. If physical traits are so importan to you, how do you explain your face, with looks like pang sai. and a personality to match? When I think this way, I have the last laugh HARHAR. You think you are so hot, picking up so many girls? those girls are jus DESPO like YOU and open themselves up to anyone. You think your body is good? wtf is that stick think shape (like me =P) and pathetic height that would turn off most girls. I can't imagine how anyone would want to look at your face for more than 5 seconds. How did you manage to make the girl kiss you? YOU are the one whom everyone is laughing at, you walk around like the own the school, but the fact is, everyone is laughing at your flaws. Your ugly face, poor complexion, small eyes, big mouth, thick lips, flat nose, bulging tummy, flabby arms, oily hair, cui hairstyle. The most cui one is YOU. I could say all this to your loved ones if I wanted to, point out each and everyone of your flaws to the person. But if I do, I would be the same as you. Just trying to ruin a relationship and hurt feelings.

Im not trying to seem like an angel. Cause in the past, I have done such things. Every single action has a motive benefitting myself. But that was because I was very immature, thinking only of myself and what might make me "happier". But I now realise that no man is an island. People are social animals and just having people around you whom you can trust wiht your life is just so important, and worth making those little sacrifices for. I deeply cherish my friends now and make it a point to let them know how much I treasure them. Even though we might not have a chance to meet so often, know that I love you all very much. I couldn't live wihtout you. My ex classmates, everyone, you know who you are.

Now back to the original topic. They might seem like your friends, but are they really. Those who have backstabbed me. You know who you are. I treated you like my best friend, but what is this I get. I don't understand. People shouldn't be like this. I hate you all most infinately. And don't expect me to talk to you anymore.

I know other people might have experienced betryal once or twice in their life before. But I have never. It hurts, it really does. Perhaps they might not have been thinking right when they did it, but the damage has been done.

Even people who I don't know seem to be against me. What have I done to deserve this? I don't even know you. You seem friendly to me when you see me. But apparently, you hate me and want me to self destruct. Ok. Because one of my earlier posts criticised people who emo on their blogs. I will not anymore. Consider this a farewell message to my friends, as well as detractors(may you all burn in hell)

I no longer care anymore. Perhaps this is for the best. A heart of stone does come in handy once in a while.

My friends and dear. I love you all so much. I always do what I think is best for you, you know. It might not seem like to you, but if my conviction is strong enough for me to act on it, I must be pretty sure about myself. I deeply apologise if it has caused any harm (completely unintentional). I hope that you would do the same for me.

Regards,
Yushan

PS: To my detractors: You think you are so perfect to say such things about me? Take a look in the mirror first ok. Be careful of flying glass though.

Its been a long time since i blogged. Been too busy i guess >.>

Its a new year now. 2008. I'll be entering uni soon. My flights on Feb 20th and I'll be studying commerce at the University of Melbourne. I dunno whether Im excited or sad. It'll be tough thats for sure. haha

I guess lots of stuff happened while I was not in the blogging world

1. Prom Night (which was terrible; I was sick the entire day)
2. I went to London Paris for 10days (disneyland =))
3. Cheeaun came over
4. Christmas (party at my house)
5. New Year (party at CJ house)
6. Com spoilt thus new laptop. Its a Asus G1. Practically a monster laptop. costs $2988 O.o the one that Chee asked me to get was the G2 which is a dinosaur (>monster) lol. Don't need one la.

So i just installed all the new stuff. I had alot of problems with zion though. And apparently windows vista is not very frozen throne friendly so I had to configure some stuff as well. But good that everything is working fine now. I even managed to play a game. Har har. My Ogre Magi is really REALLY lucky even without agahnim. Half the time i will get really good mulitcasts and eveyrone will be like @_@. But we lost anyway cause my team got 2 noobs. I also farmed real slow. How do you farm a strenght hero that you pump with intel items? Its beyond me LOL. But i like this hero! At least he won't feed HAHA.

AIya. Please don't read this blog le. I will be very paiseh k. LOL. Even though Im saying this I know its no use.

Anyways, you know its because Cheeaun has returned to Msia thats why Im writing here again. The next time I see him is probably after Jan6? yeah. Thats quite a long time more.

I feel kinda obliged to write lots cause you (readers) would have missed out alot on my life when I was away(in the non blogging world) But no pictures for now cause my old com is repairing.

Is it possible to ever forget these people XDD

WAHLAO these past few days damn boring for me! WTSHITT. haha.Everyday just stay home play game. Hm. Although I really relish playing dota, playing ALONE is really no fun at all. Why is this? Because I really cannot take it when my teammates damn NOOB! ARGH. Very painful to watch. Then after lose a few rounds I will become very sian.

I also can host inhouse now, but apparently, very lag for some and no lag for others. KPKP until like siao(especially a certain someone) then again, I damn no mood. I guess its better when I play with a bunch of seniors. But they like to play some stupid game called "Impossible Bosses" that I have no idea how to play at all.

THIS is thus the summary of my life these few days. Being dao-ed is not a good feeling at all. Sian. I hope tonight can play a good game.

Yay, Tomorrow Cheeaun comes back from Bintan. XD OK. Today was not a bad day la. Althouhg last night was.

Last night I quarreled wiht my parents, and walked out of the house. with nothing to do, I went to a nearby lanshop that just opened and played lan for about 2 hours plus, then went home at 11. HAHA amazing right. OK, lucky got Cheeaun's friends online to play with me or I woudl just die. And we pawned every game MWAHAH. KOTL is now my new favorite hero =)). (and also got some guy at lanshop try to cheehong me, seemingly lonely girl in lanshop, but too bad man =P. BLEH haha Cheechee I know you got read this one)

Today afternoon I went out wiht classmates to look for prom stuff. Frankly I wasn't really looking cause I already got 3 dress O_o. And I most likely wear my sister's dress. I already have my shoes and stuff. Singapore really don't have much variety sad to say. BUT since I haven't seen them in quite a long time, it was good to meet up again =D.

Then tonight, I play dota ALONE. grr. I thought that there would be people on bnet but after waiting a while I decided i COULDNT WAIT. HAHA WHTA A NERD. But I lost every game(2games). HAHA WHAT A LOUSY NERD. ok.My team mates were reallyreally damn noob. Quite frustrating leh. Cause they random really zai heros liek troll and fv but still lose until so chum. And because I always choose stupid saikang heros like pugna, I really couldn't do much(ok la, maybe could have, but i too noob). And end up I kp them more =.= NVM, tmr will be a better day =D

I just watched high school musical last night. OMG its damn nice! The plot is dam cliche, characters stereotyped, but somehow... just very enjoyable. Im quite sure its the singing and the sheer youthful-ness of it. A must watch!

Yeah. Malaysia lan is really amazing. The comps are good, no lag because everyone plays lan, good ambiance and cheap! (S$1/hr). haha. Yeahhh, everyone should go there and play lan. (I played 7hours @_@) After wasting 1 day playing lan, the 2nd day we went shopping. But the clothes were not much cheaper than Sg one so.... Movies there are cheap too. I think about half price or less? We watched Hitman. Very cool. Cheeaun dyed his hair metallic green. wtf haha what a seaweed head. But its not as bad as it sounds la.

I want to dye my hair. But everyone tells me not to because my natural hair colour is so nice already. Sigh. But I really want a change. If I do dye it, I will probably do it in Malaysia anyway because its cheaper there.

Today I went for my ex tuition teacher's wedding (Alan and Jessica) Congratulations! But it was in a hall, so very no atmosphere, and the pastor like quite lousy. IF I were to have a church wedding, it would be in a big cathedral right. Too bad Im not christian.

Yesterday I was playing maple too. Erm, Holidays have 2X exp for weekends, so I just couldnt resist la. They have so many new maps now. Veyr good for my priest to train at. But of course this is only because Cheeaun is in Bintan with his class or I wouldn't be wasting my time playing maple =.=

好き過ぎてバカ見たい

I love Tanaka Reina's hair here